well... another week had juz pass le...... had a rather tired and f*ck up week i'll say....... sunday went for our YG outdoor activity... and i sprain my back unknowingly..... then nvm... monday the pain almost killed mi... so went to see the camp MO.... he gave mi painkiller which can cause gastric..... but he did give mi some counter gastric lah.... 1st day eat the counter gastric still got use... 2nd day..... totally useless... and instead it got mi into more pain... so i stopped taking it... then nvm..... tuesday went for Exercise... the weather so damn hot... drink 4 bottle of water also not enuff... then on wed... my left eye dunno for wat reason.... it swell... wanted to see MO... but no time.. cos wed need to prepare the store for thurs EX.. then thurs went for the EX at Kranji Battle Site there... took a photo of the beware of crocodile sign... haha damn bo liao rite?? the EX is quite fun i'll say... then Fri i really cannot ta han laioz... went to report sick in the morning... the MO say my eye got infection... sian diaoz.... give mi eye drop and antibiotic.. the eye drop damn "good" apply laioz..... eye feel like burning... the will start to itch.. wan to rub also cannot... cos the swell HURTS!! well.. wat to do..... itch also muz ta han laioz lor... hmmm later got YG bowling... wonder how's today event gonna be.... hope it'll be gd ba.....
early morning and i am blogging again.... haha.... well... after thinking back.... feel tt there's like nth much happening during this week..... had a rather bored and tired weekend..... did nth on sat.... pratically spent the day at home... till late noon.... went to sim lim to see some com stuff... looking for a printer's price... seemsl ike it's really too new.... some of the store dun even noe wat i am saying... -.-" then sun went for my YG as usual..... our last activity.... had quite some games outdoor...i played with my bare foot.... run arnd.... now my sole got quite some cracks... haiz..... cos my foot's skin are rather dry u see... so it got crack very easily... nite time went to my uncle's house for prayer... after tt went down to meet matthew and gang... had a nite chit chatting away... lol... and now.... i'm getting ready to go back camp le... gonna have 2 outfield this week.... sianz.... hope this week will end soon.... ^-^ then faster end course... i miss my unit's freedom.... hehe.....
back home to blog again le... today is juz another stressful day as usual.... got so much things i need to squeeze into my brain.... well... i guess my brain cant take it le... i really cannot get anything in at all... and today is the 1st time i fail my test for my this course.... haiz.... i failed by 4 marks... haiz... suan le lah... fail means fail wat.... juz hope i dun fail course ba.... i need to pass this course and go back to my bty to be the signaller de.. haiz... can feel the load on my shoulder... i noe i can't afford to fail this course... or else most likely i'll be revocate de.... and i dun wan tt.. i wanna stay with my bty.... after my test i book out... went to my aunt saloon to get a hair cut... actually is becos long time nv see my aunt le... wanna pay her a visit onli.. then she say my hair long le.. so might as well get it cut ba.. haha... after the hair cut went back home... ate my dinner... chat on the phone with my fou tang fren.. then feel so damn sian... then went down to JP... wanted to play wangan midnight maximum tune de.... when i reach there i was so shock... the machine no more there le... it had all been change to wangan midnight maximum tune 2... tried to play... not easy to play this time.. the car all seem to be quite slippery... haiz... quite expensive also... play until arnd 11 then met Yun Hui... went down to mac for ice cream... ahah fei de yao si de shi wu.... then took bus back to batok le.... and blogging here now... dunno y... feel so bo liao lehz.... hope tml will be better ba.... ^-^V muz relax myself down laioz... ah bo really cannot pass my test le... ahiz... next week 2 outfield sia.... wat to do wat to do?? on course ma... bo bian... hope i can survive thru successfully ba.... feel tt while i was bz these times.... some ppl seem to have walked out of my life... but is it they walk out on mi? or i'm the wan who walk out on them? if it's mi who walk out on them.... i'm sorry... guess i'm juz too bz or i didnt notice ba... anyway.... juz pls do take care of urself... some i noe once they're gone.... they'll be gone... i do hope i still can find u all back... ^-^ take carez!
hmmm...... more than half of another day had passed... have been staying at home the whole day.... dunno wat's wrong... keep having stomachace... but i didnt go and see doc lah... hopefully it'll be fine later tonite... well.. let's see wat have i done today... morning i wake up at 6am.. brush my teeth and when back to sleep again... lolx... then at 7 wake up again to had breakfast.... taken 2 pieces of bread with mum... chat with her for awhile... then on my pc and start searching for my study scheme.... but to no valid... tink gonna ask my fren laioz... then online check frenster blah blah blah... then play Pristontale till arnd 11a.m.... feel so sleepy.... off the com and went into my room and sleep... in between also dunno went to toilet and boom ba how many times... haha... wake up at 12:48p.m... dad has went back to work le... get up and watch scv... juz so bored but lazy to go out... so watch tv lor... then at 2:30 sis came back.. finally some1 to tok to... haha... chat with her for awhile then she go bath.... grandma came knocking door... she bought mi Fried Hokkien Mee!!! woo!!! juz when i as hungry!! feel so grateful to her.... Thankz Ah Mah~! but too bad she dun read blog neither does she noe how to see ang moh... lolx :P and now... juz changed my blog music.... nice ehh?? hehe... tink gonna find a new skin... i wanna be wat i am in everybody'e eyes again.... guys.... dun mind pls give mi a helping hand can?? k lah... blog till here.. tonite gonna go back cmap... tml got test.... haiz... scare sia.... scare fail test... so far so gd lah... no test fail yet... hope everything will go smoothly and let mi pass out as a gd signaller.... ^-^
hmmm it's been so long since i last blogged?? haiz... how time flies... dunno y... today juz feel so emotional.... looking back at all the things i've done... i dun seem to have accomplish anything great in my life yet..... such a disappointment... well.. as now i'm in course... everyday seem to pass so fast... things i used to worry... or made mi sad... dun seem to have any effect on mi anoymore.... maybe it's gd to somebody maybe it's not... but anyway.... i'm happy with wat i'm doin now... letting go is wat i should have done long ago ba... haha...
haiz sian..... goin to go back to camp le... dunno y.... 1st time i feel my heart sink so much while i was packing my bag.... hmmm i dunno y also... is something bad gonna happen or wat?? i dunno... juz dun feel gd... tt feeling is so terrible.... haiz..... so i hereby hope all my frens and love ones will be blessed.... may things go smooth for all of ya.... sighz.... tml gonna have some signal test... i tried to study... but none seems to get inside... haiz.... k lah... gtg le.... take care huh all of u guys... sighz... wat an uneasy feeling.... =(
juz finished uploading my new mp3... thankz to shirley for teaching mi how to do it... now this song is temp de.... cos i wanna put the other song.. juz tt i need my sis's stead to send mi the mp3.... haha..... well... today had a rather long day i'll say... early morning i went down to JP arcade with Xian Han and CR... had a bad day over there... keep losing... i also dunno y... initially wanted to go there to vent out all my fustration.... but in the end it didn't... but got worse onli.... haiz.... feel tt my life juz suddenly got so quiet... cant adjust to it... everything seems so quiet... but wat can i do?? cant do anything... after the game we went outside JP sit sit and tok.... saw Xian Han smoking... but dunno y... juz kinda got tempted.. at 1st took a few puff... then he say... wan to smoke juz take 1 stick lah... and i juz took it... haha... in the end i took 2 stick... it's very cooling i'll say... after tt met up with a few sec sch frens for dinner at Timah... then actually say wan to go down to town de.. but in the they dun wan... so we went to timah to play pool... i feel so sian... so went to play cs.... play until like sai... then dun play le... after tt we went down to JP again... to watch movie... we watch the House Of Fury... not bad lah the show... but i kinda fall asleep... dunno y... feel so sick... but well.... let it be ba... anyway wat i do also nobody will noe... or even care... haha... after the movie we took cab back... and now i'm blogging here... tml YG still dunno wanna go anot... juz lost all my mood in everything... i hardly luff... dun say luff... smile also feel so hard... feel tt my mouth is so stiff... well.... let it be ba... everything juz feel so sux for mi... i cant find much reason to smile again... hmmmm.........
juz woke up in the morning... well..... last nite went out till almost 4a.m then come back.. haha... i came back home after meeting my mei for dinner until 9+ then reach home.... then called my fren to chat on phone... then i noe they're actually at JP.... kns... bo jio mi lor... so at 10+ i went out of my home to join them at JP.... well...... these 2 days i've been trying to keep myself bz... ya.... real bz.... y? cos i cant quiet down.... i'm goin thru so called the hard time of my life? i dun wna to sit down do nth and my mind will start to wander arnd.. yes.... it's not easy.... i can feel every single pain inside.... but well... nobody will noes how it feels.... how much u'll curse and swear when i feel tt pain everytime ur mind wander... juz abit of it... it's gonna kill u... tt's how painful it is? but tt person who caused tt pain will nv noe how it feels... but from here i learned something... it really nv pays to be gd and kind... tt's wat i feel so deeply inside... i dun ask for wat in return... juz treat mi nicer abit? not sometimes u treat mi gd sometimes u treat mi like bug... i'm a human too man.. i also have feeling inside.. my heart is made of blood and flesh... maybe becos i always keep quiet.. keep all my feeling inside so ppl thought i dun feel ba... but well... how many times i've been hurt so deeply? how many times had my heart bleed? nobody noes... becos i nv choose to say it out... well... all i can say is... all these is i well deserved de ba... haiz... juz feel tt this kind of sadness... lonliness and pain.... is not something which i can use words to describe... it's so far beyond the words i noe... cos my eng too lousy ba... haha... well... i should juz face all this... let it pain till the extreme.... and i tink after all these i wont feel again le ba... it may be a gd thing as well... not for mi... but for tt someone ba... i also noe tt she wont come in again... so wat i write here she also wont noe... haha... if she does come... hope she'll see this line... if this is wat u wan... and it can make u happy... as usual... i'll do it... take care... well.. tt's all for this morning... juz wanna blog out my feeling... haha... sorry huh... u all have to read so much of my rubbish... esp those who comes here often to read... thanks for reading... it's not easy to have the same old Lingzhi again... but i'll try... juz try...
haiz.... juz reached home... these few days being on course at Stagmont Camp at CCK.. it's juz behind CCKSS onli.. haha.. and i dunno.. so cock sia... haha... the course is rather boring... and i did quite had some fun inside....
hmmm juz come back from NUH not long ago... went for my appointment at NUH... went to check on my ankle... haiz... over there wait so long... from 11+ wait till 1+ then my turn to see the doc... went in see the doc... but the doc inside isnt the wan i had appointment with... becos my actual doc has been called out for emergeny.... so bo bian lor...
ok... the time now is 7a.m in the morning.... i've juz packed all my stuff... hopefully i didnt left anything behind..... well... i'm goin for my course today le.... haiz.... initially i'm all prepared to go de.... but after wat happen.... *pls refer to my last entry* all my mood is gone.... yea... totally gone......
hmmm being a few days didnt blog again le.... haiz..... no mood to blog ba.... guess my these few times de entries all rather sad ba..... how long has been being since i was last feeling happy? feeling being love? i cant remember... really cant remember le... is it tt so long ago?? of have i nv ever tried it b4?? i dunno....
early in the morning i'm in here blogging again.... haiz..... head feels heavy now.... last nite had drink abit too much le ba.... nth much happens today..... start at home rest the whole day due to the alcohol.... in the noon went to buy my rank from westmall then ask grandma to help mi sew in onto my uniform.....