hmmm... really very long no blog... also dunno who will come see.. haha... well... also not blog for ppl to see... i onli blog when i feel so fan so fan den i blog.. come here to vent out all my unhappiness... dunno wat have i been doin... feeling shiit... damn shiit... things are not goin smooth... lots and lots of problem... suddenly i really feel damn lonely... 1st siihuii i cant contact her anymore.. cos her bf is back... glad tt they are ok laioz... 2nd. zry cant tok as much as she used to do... cos of her bill.. tt wan i understand... 3rd. thou now i got a gf... but somehow i feel..... empty... maybe cos she tends to slp till very late and end up form morning till noon i always nth to do... and plus she is so far away from mi.. i wan to find her also hard... onli way of communication is sms.. call.. msn.. or audi... and she needs more attention but i understand y lah.. i'm trying my very best to give her all the attention i wan... but somehow it dun seem to be enuff to her... and she feels tt i dun love her... but she dunno how hard i am trying... i can even argue with my brother zry becos of her... i really dunno.. seriously... on the surface i tink i look happy... but deep down inside mi... i feel dark and empty... it's all damn messy inside... she dunno wat she wan.. her confusion confuse mi as well.... maybe i'm juz not gd enuff... but i am willing to try.. i can dun mind at all with all her past... i juz wan to be able to give wat i can... haiz... i am really trying very hard... but who can see? nobody... wat happen last nite really shattered my heart... it's not easy to place everything back together... i feel so badly stabbed... haiz... FAN AR!!!!!! si liao bu shi hao lor........... haiz........... take mi away pls...... b4 i go crazy myself......

---